.Loved Relentlessly.

I liked my life BC.  That's Before Children .   Actually, I probably loved it.  I was creative and adventurous and bold, the first to share an original song or repel down the side of a mountain or enter a political debate.  Actually, I was probably prideful.  But goodness, it was fun.  And most days I felt like I had a really good handle on my life, my plans, and the direction things were headed.  Oh, I loved the Lord.  I worshiped and wrote and prayed and talked a lot.  I married a fantastic man and we dreamed big dreams of what "we would do for the Kingdom", how we would create and conquer. Then I had a baby.  Two babies.  Two beautiful, energetic, personable boys who make me laugh and sigh and cry.  Two boys who have taken it all...  My love.  My time.  My focus.  My heart.  My energy.  My budget.  And lately, I don't feel creative or adventurous or bold. Lately, my knuckles are white. White from clinging. Clinging 'cause I don't have a handle on no