Surviving the Fourth Trimester (with 3-under-5)

Well, we made it.  Again.  David was born on October 17, and here we are on January 27.  We have officially survived The Fourth Trimester* for a third time.

On this side of it I am both extremely relieved and a bit sad.  The first few months of my babies' lives have never been my favorite, as anyone who knows me has heard me talk about.  But overall David has been the ideal newborn...so to see his first 3 months pass so quickly has been bittersweet.  Or maybe it's that the third time around you really do realize that it goes so stinking' fast.

Am I thankful for lots of good sleep lately?  For sure.  Did I cry as I packed away the 0-3 month clothes?  Also for sure.

Anyway...here are some things I journaled during the first three months to pass along to any mama who finds herself also living through the Fourth Trimester with 3-under-5.  It's a little intense, a little scary, a little fun, and a whole lot of beautiful.

#1 - Lower your expectations before you meet reality.  Embrace ahead of time, if possible, that life is about to change.  Your normal will never look exactly the same again, and for a while it will not even feel sane.  One evening when David was about 3 weeks old, Dan and I sat at the kitchen table and just laughed out loud because all three kids were crying at once.  Just know that things are about to get crazy.  Don't expect complicated meals, very much sleep, very much downtime, or even a shower everyday - then when those things happen, it will be a lovely surprise.  There will be no routine, schedule, or even rhythm for a while.   But it will be ok.

#2 - Buy easy food.  Just do it.  Your kids will not die, and neither will you, if they eat Fruit Loops every morning for the first 6 weeks of their little brother's life (I may or may not know this from experience).  I love to cook and I love to cook nourishing food...but the time to meal plan 100 Days of Real Food is not in the first 100 days of a baby's life.  Make life simpler and easier and just buy the frozen pizzas and granola bars.

#3 - Purchase a nice insulated mug...a Yeti or something similar.  Meet your new best friend.  Fill it up every single morning and keep it by your side.

#4 - Stay home a lot for the first 6 weeks.  Work on finding a simple rhythm at home, and enjoy the legitimate excuse to say, "No...maybe in a few weeks."  Keep your days simple.  Sitting on the couch reading books to the older kids while nursing the baby is a good thing.  There is no need to rush this. The world and it's busy-ness will still be there when you go back to it.  Just stay home.

#5 - If you don't sleep more than 6 hours the night before, do something to make yourself feel human first thing in the morning.  Shower quickly, put on makeup, change into clean clothes - whatever.  Then...coffee at all costs.  A Keurig and yummy coffee creamer = <3 p="">
#6 - Embrace the circus and your monkeys.  While Daddy is at work, you are the ring master.  Just go with it.  One day, you will have a full night's sleep, quiet time in the morning, days without taking breaks to nurse a baby, and the time to complete tasks without pausing to respond to hundreds of requests.  But today is not that day and that's ok.  Wake up in the morning ready to embrace the crazy, chaotic, and routine-less reality that is your current season.  You will live to encourage another mama through it.

#7 - Put on good, encouraging music or a podcast.  Trust me, it's better for your perspective than TV.  Listening to worship music or podcasts for moms was such a blessing to me in the middle of those early days.  

#8 - Look at your other children and remember how fast it goes.  Almost 5 years with Timothy has gone by in the blink of an eye, and I would gladly go back and repeat the first three months of his life in order to experience knowing him now.  Your older children are truly your best reminders of why you wanted to do this again.

#9 - #Whatdoesntcomenaturallycomesbygrace.  "What doesn't come naturally comes by grace." - Ruth Chou Simons.  There is so much grace for tired mamas.  Lean into it, and God will be glorified in your lack.  Our frailty and inability is the perfect platform on which He can display His faithfulness and goodness.

You're gonna make it, mama.  These days can be long and wearying, but He will carry you.  And in the middle of these days, sometimes you will look up and see how full your home and your heart are, and you will cry tears of gratefulness.  Because it's not easy...but it's really, really good.

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."  - Isaiah 40:11(NIV)


-HK-