The words of my 9-year-old sister Rebecca totally caught me off guard last night. I had made some flippant comment about if she cut her hair, she would regret it. She said, "Hannah, I'm just a little girl. I don't even know what regret means!"
I have thought about her statement so much since then. At that moment my thoughts were something alot the lines of, Ah, just wait a few years...you will understand very well someday the meaning of the word... But today, I wonder if this has to be true.
This day has been probably one of the most emotional in my own personal history. An unexpected but very long awaited blessing is happening in my immediate family, while in this same space of moments and hours, the man so close to my heart may experience a deeply painful loss. This has lead me to remember how precious these days are...they are not many at all...just as in one day new life can begin, so another can end. Life is precious, life is fragile...
So with these thoughts and my sister's words in mind, I have in my mind a desire to not know what regret means. Because these days are so few...these relationships are so priceless. The people whose lives we touch, and the seeds of love and real caring that we sow is all that will matter when we come to the end of this thing. It's not about ambition, really. It's not about success or failure. Our days are not measured by a calculator or on a spreadsheet.
What matters is Jesus. What matters is relationships with people. And what matters are all those moments, all those days that you will never, ever regret... Those moments spent laughing and not being able to stop. Those conversations so real and deep that they resonate in your memory for years. Times spent rocking a baby...evenings sharing a meal with people you love and not rushing away from the table...taking time to know a child's favorite color. Dancing in the mall. Walking over a bridge not once, but twice, just because you want to. Catching the beauty in moonlight. Dropping everything to be there for someone who is hurting. Being the hands and feet of Jesus, without any expectations.
I want to have more of those. I'd even like to be able to say that I filled my life up with them. Maybe someday, when my history here is complete and Jesus comes for me, I can say with real sincerity, "I'm just a little girl...and I don't even know what regret means."
I have thought about her statement so much since then. At that moment my thoughts were something alot the lines of, Ah, just wait a few years...you will understand very well someday the meaning of the word... But today, I wonder if this has to be true.
This day has been probably one of the most emotional in my own personal history. An unexpected but very long awaited blessing is happening in my immediate family, while in this same space of moments and hours, the man so close to my heart may experience a deeply painful loss. This has lead me to remember how precious these days are...they are not many at all...just as in one day new life can begin, so another can end. Life is precious, life is fragile...
So with these thoughts and my sister's words in mind, I have in my mind a desire to not know what regret means. Because these days are so few...these relationships are so priceless. The people whose lives we touch, and the seeds of love and real caring that we sow is all that will matter when we come to the end of this thing. It's not about ambition, really. It's not about success or failure. Our days are not measured by a calculator or on a spreadsheet.
What matters is Jesus. What matters is relationships with people. And what matters are all those moments, all those days that you will never, ever regret... Those moments spent laughing and not being able to stop. Those conversations so real and deep that they resonate in your memory for years. Times spent rocking a baby...evenings sharing a meal with people you love and not rushing away from the table...taking time to know a child's favorite color. Dancing in the mall. Walking over a bridge not once, but twice, just because you want to. Catching the beauty in moonlight. Dropping everything to be there for someone who is hurting. Being the hands and feet of Jesus, without any expectations.
I want to have more of those. I'd even like to be able to say that I filled my life up with them. Maybe someday, when my history here is complete and Jesus comes for me, I can say with real sincerity, "I'm just a little girl...and I don't even know what regret means."
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